Screen Shot 2014-09-29 at 9.21.13 PMThere are so many things that our mothers left out while telling us all about the wonders of pregnancy. One of the biggest points of omission is in the sex department. Well, as I am approaching the final stages of my pregnancy, I want to educate all those who are currently pregnant or are hopeful preggers about the good, bad and the ugly parts of your sex life once the bun is successfully cooking in the oven.

The most important concern during this pregnancy has been how to keep the connection between me and my fiancé. Pregnancy has so many stages and with the changes in your body, comes the changes in your mood, your petite and your ability to be rational. The worst thing you want to do is lose the connection between you and your partner because it creates an added stress to the already stressful situation of preparing to be first time parents. Whether you’re ready or not, this is a huge life transition, so make the best out of these last moments of intimacy where all yo have to think about is the needs of you and him. These will come very few and far between once the bambino is here.

Here’s a few tips for staying connected to your partner during this extremely challenging time:

  • Talk about it: At the beginning, your beau may not necessarily realize how much your body will change in the coming months and when your bun in the oven becomes more apparent, your partner may develop some concerns around making love. Talk about what’s happening. Let him know that sex is encouraged during pregnancy (if you’re having a normal and healthy pregnancy) and if you’re one of the lucky ones, your libido is on over drive! Let him know that this is the time to take advantage of your heightened sensitivity and urge to splurge in the sex department. P.S. No worries about hurting the baby, he/she is well protected in your tummy!
  • Initiate Sex: This should happen whether you’re pregnant or not! Initiate the act, he may not know if you’re comfortable with sex now that you’re pregnant, but you can erase all doubt by making the first move. It’s exciting and lets him feel wanted. Men can often feel shut out of pregnancy, this is a good way to let him know that you’re still into him.
  • Remain Sexy: I can stress this enough. It can be hard, especially with fatigue, weight gain and stretch marks but the better you feel about yourself by embracing those changes, the more you’ll feel like physically connecting and keeping the fire hot in your bedroom. If you’re self conscious about your stretch marks or weight gain, you can were a sexy lace camis that covers your mid-section but still shows off your curves.
  • Try new positions: At some point in your pregnancy, sex will become a task. Funny enough, this is around the time that sex is essential. The spooning position will become a staple move for you and your partner as this seems to be a favorite amongst pregnant couples.  However, if you have it in you, utilizing positions like “riding”, “69”, “doggy-style” and bedding over various edges and furniture (yes, I said furniture) can become exciting ways to accommodate your growing belly.
  • Keep the lines of communication OPEN: Similar to the first tip, you want to ensure that you’re including your partner in the pregnancy process. But don’t be surprised if he’s not at all interested in doing the deed while you’re pregnant. Some men may be turned on and some may be totally turned off. Try not to take it personally, and recognize he too is going through changes as he witnesses your body changing and coming to the realization that life as he knows it will never be the same. Continue to talk about how he’s feeling and explore ways that you can continue to be intimate, even if it doesn’t include actual intercourse. These nine months are some of the last times you’ll be alone as a couple, so you want to take full advantage. Be honest about what you feel, what you need and how you can each other through the process.

Team work is key!

– Just love,

D

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